Post by SocialWheeler on May 18, 2013 19:51:56 GMT -4
Well... LOL
After a few phone calls to Dwayne, in order to actually find where he was, I arrive at a spot where a gas line crosses a dirt road and here comes Dwayne... On foot. So I ask where the Jeep is to which Dwayne replies that: he has been walking for 4 hours, that he is not really sure where it is, that the ATVers were unable to help him find it, and that he THINKS he might have another way to get to it.
At this point, as I am airing down and disconnecting, Dwayne advises me that Pathfinder man started in the road where we are going, scuffed his bumper and was no more. No sweat says I, I can get you out of whatever you are into.
At this point, as we are in the country, a 2WD F150 pulls up with the proverbial farmer's daughter driving, and the farmer in the passenger seat, half in the bag and holding a beer between his legs. SO as I have Danette (the accidental Jeeper) and Moose with me, I have no room for Dwayne. I suggest that the farmer's daughter drive him to the trail head. No sweat says Farmer McBeery.
We then drive 5KMs back the road we came in on, then off a little side road, that turns into a dirt road and then into an actual trail that one should NOT be driving the aforementioned F150 on. Did I mention it was 2WD?
In any case, we get the farmer's daughter turned around.
Sorry, mind wandered a little there.
So Dwayne takes to running in the trail and we are following him in the Jeep... None of that running foolishness for us. After a KM or so, he pulls over, and between breaths, advises us that the Jeep (and his kids) are a few hundred feet up the trail and he will meet us there.
On ahead we go, I round the turn, and the trail is all washouts... Deep washouts. NO way in the world he drove in this way. I query same of the heavy-breathing Dwayne and he clarifies that this is NOT the way he came in, but where he was on his way to. OH.
Got it. So here i am, 10PSI, discoed, lockers on, with Danette who is NOT a Jeeper. After I get out and look at the washouts (which motivates her to bail and descend from the vehicle faster than a new brides pyjamas) I deduce that they are indeed quite deep and at the upper end of what I am comfortable driving through.
I am a moron. They were WAY past that. These damn new glasses did not help a bit. Anyhow, there I am in the washouts, like making love .. It's never just the tip... Once you are in you are in. So 1st gear, lockers on, no spotter, aired down, and a significant portion of my Joe Boxers where the sun don't shine, I start through.
I have tires lifting, off camber, sliding, Danette's eyes are wide (well when I open mine long enough to see them), and I am looking at the sky then trees then the ground... I am through.
Get to Dwayne's Jeep and ascertain two things. 1) He is stuck because he went directly into an obstacle as opposed to hitting it at a 45degree angle. 2) If he would have been at the last 101 Shaun put on (Oh yeah... He is Shaun's friend) he would have had JUST enough knowledge to make it to the first big washout and roll his Jeep.
So...I winch him back off the spot he is stuck, go to turn around, get turned around, and sfter smelling that aroma-de-clutch and seeing the smoke pouring out the bottom, get the following comment from Dwayne. "Think the clutch is shot" ;D
Now we have a JKU facing the wrong direction that is unable to move under it's own power. Back to the LJ to put away the snatch strap and get out the tow strap... Gonna bring him out backwards. We get a couple hundred feet up the trail (one Jeep wide) and I deduce that we will need him to turn around. I pass a wide spot in the trail, get him unhooked and say "Be right back". He did NOT look content at this little nugget. I then advised that I would winch him up one bank off to the side, then backwards to the other side and then out of the woods. Dude looked skeptical.
Out comes the recovery bag with the snatch blocks and the tree saver and I explain what is going to happen next. Doubtful looks all around.
Get the block off a tree way back in the woods and pull him frontwards, then move the snatch block to the woods behind him and pull him back. THEN put the winch hook on the nose and pull him forward again so his nose is facing in the right direction. Most labour-intensive three point turn ever.
Off I go to turn around, we get him going in the right direction and then realize neither one of us knows where the hell we are. iPhone to the rescue. Mapquest has an app for that. Download the app, say I want to go from current location to East Chezz. Lo and behold the trail we are on is an "unnamed road" on Mapquest. We follow this out to a house and then the tow is on. We get onto the road and as he is a trusting fellow, he just sits back there on the end of my towstrap as we strike out for the Old Guysborough road and the airport Timmys. At this point I wish to note that Bill Richards will be happy to know that Dwayne did not have the same experience on my strap as he did in Quebec.
We get to the OG Road, and I call Mason, who is unable to help with the CAA thing, but we brainstorm and Bill Clarke comes up. I call Mr Clarke and he agrees to send CAA to the Airport Timmys. All of this is taking place unbeknownst to Dwayne, who by this point must be wondering where the hell he is actually going.
We get to the Timmys, as that's where all good runs should end, and Bill Clarke pulls up. Dwayne says "Friend of yours?" Yes says I. CAA will be here in a minute to take you to Sackvegas and Bill has to be here to use his card.
By this point, I don't think a lot of the whole experience is actually registering with Dwayne, who has been recovered from the woods, towed to a Timmys, and told that CAA is on the way... I think the dude was starting to look for the hidden cameras at this point. ;D
I shake the mans hand, thank him for the free tea, tell him I will leave him in Bill's capable hands (Bill who he met 7 minutes before I left) and hit the road.
Oh yeah... He says "If there is ever anything I can do for you man, just let me know"
'What do you do for work' I ask?
"I install hardwood floors"
After a few phone calls to Dwayne, in order to actually find where he was, I arrive at a spot where a gas line crosses a dirt road and here comes Dwayne... On foot. So I ask where the Jeep is to which Dwayne replies that: he has been walking for 4 hours, that he is not really sure where it is, that the ATVers were unable to help him find it, and that he THINKS he might have another way to get to it.
At this point, as I am airing down and disconnecting, Dwayne advises me that Pathfinder man started in the road where we are going, scuffed his bumper and was no more. No sweat says I, I can get you out of whatever you are into.
At this point, as we are in the country, a 2WD F150 pulls up with the proverbial farmer's daughter driving, and the farmer in the passenger seat, half in the bag and holding a beer between his legs. SO as I have Danette (the accidental Jeeper) and Moose with me, I have no room for Dwayne. I suggest that the farmer's daughter drive him to the trail head. No sweat says Farmer McBeery.
We then drive 5KMs back the road we came in on, then off a little side road, that turns into a dirt road and then into an actual trail that one should NOT be driving the aforementioned F150 on. Did I mention it was 2WD?
In any case, we get the farmer's daughter turned around.
Sorry, mind wandered a little there.
So Dwayne takes to running in the trail and we are following him in the Jeep... None of that running foolishness for us. After a KM or so, he pulls over, and between breaths, advises us that the Jeep (and his kids) are a few hundred feet up the trail and he will meet us there.
On ahead we go, I round the turn, and the trail is all washouts... Deep washouts. NO way in the world he drove in this way. I query same of the heavy-breathing Dwayne and he clarifies that this is NOT the way he came in, but where he was on his way to. OH.
Got it. So here i am, 10PSI, discoed, lockers on, with Danette who is NOT a Jeeper. After I get out and look at the washouts (which motivates her to bail and descend from the vehicle faster than a new brides pyjamas) I deduce that they are indeed quite deep and at the upper end of what I am comfortable driving through.
I am a moron. They were WAY past that. These damn new glasses did not help a bit. Anyhow, there I am in the washouts, like making love .. It's never just the tip... Once you are in you are in. So 1st gear, lockers on, no spotter, aired down, and a significant portion of my Joe Boxers where the sun don't shine, I start through.
I have tires lifting, off camber, sliding, Danette's eyes are wide (well when I open mine long enough to see them), and I am looking at the sky then trees then the ground... I am through.
Get to Dwayne's Jeep and ascertain two things. 1) He is stuck because he went directly into an obstacle as opposed to hitting it at a 45degree angle. 2) If he would have been at the last 101 Shaun put on (Oh yeah... He is Shaun's friend) he would have had JUST enough knowledge to make it to the first big washout and roll his Jeep.
So...I winch him back off the spot he is stuck, go to turn around, get turned around, and sfter smelling that aroma-de-clutch and seeing the smoke pouring out the bottom, get the following comment from Dwayne. "Think the clutch is shot" ;D
Now we have a JKU facing the wrong direction that is unable to move under it's own power. Back to the LJ to put away the snatch strap and get out the tow strap... Gonna bring him out backwards. We get a couple hundred feet up the trail (one Jeep wide) and I deduce that we will need him to turn around. I pass a wide spot in the trail, get him unhooked and say "Be right back". He did NOT look content at this little nugget. I then advised that I would winch him up one bank off to the side, then backwards to the other side and then out of the woods. Dude looked skeptical.
Out comes the recovery bag with the snatch blocks and the tree saver and I explain what is going to happen next. Doubtful looks all around.
Get the block off a tree way back in the woods and pull him frontwards, then move the snatch block to the woods behind him and pull him back. THEN put the winch hook on the nose and pull him forward again so his nose is facing in the right direction. Most labour-intensive three point turn ever.
Off I go to turn around, we get him going in the right direction and then realize neither one of us knows where the hell we are. iPhone to the rescue. Mapquest has an app for that. Download the app, say I want to go from current location to East Chezz. Lo and behold the trail we are on is an "unnamed road" on Mapquest. We follow this out to a house and then the tow is on. We get onto the road and as he is a trusting fellow, he just sits back there on the end of my towstrap as we strike out for the Old Guysborough road and the airport Timmys. At this point I wish to note that Bill Richards will be happy to know that Dwayne did not have the same experience on my strap as he did in Quebec.
We get to the OG Road, and I call Mason, who is unable to help with the CAA thing, but we brainstorm and Bill Clarke comes up. I call Mr Clarke and he agrees to send CAA to the Airport Timmys. All of this is taking place unbeknownst to Dwayne, who by this point must be wondering where the hell he is actually going.
We get to the Timmys, as that's where all good runs should end, and Bill Clarke pulls up. Dwayne says "Friend of yours?" Yes says I. CAA will be here in a minute to take you to Sackvegas and Bill has to be here to use his card.
By this point, I don't think a lot of the whole experience is actually registering with Dwayne, who has been recovered from the woods, towed to a Timmys, and told that CAA is on the way... I think the dude was starting to look for the hidden cameras at this point. ;D
I shake the mans hand, thank him for the free tea, tell him I will leave him in Bill's capable hands (Bill who he met 7 minutes before I left) and hit the road.
Oh yeah... He says "If there is ever anything I can do for you man, just let me know"
'What do you do for work' I ask?
"I install hardwood floors"